So You Have a Kidney Stone, eh?
Recently about 2 weeks ago, I sat down and held my 10 month old daughter at home after eating at my girlfriends brothers house with them, and everything seemed all fine and dandy. Suddenly, and I mean suddenly, I had the absolute worst pain of all time in my groin. It struck me like a bolt of lightning and soon I was toppled over barely able to walk. My girlfriend asked if I needed the emergency room and of course I said "no" at first, but then I agreed to go because it wasn't going away and the throbbing was unbearable. My first ER trip for this went terribly; the nurses absolutely sucked and were rude. It was about 10:15 p.m. and they just weren't having my whining (because I was in terrible pain). They didn't do anything or check anything, they waited until I puked in the bathroom (from the pain) and then discharged me. I could barely sleep, was in severe pain, and had no pain medications. I woke up the next morning after tossing and turning all night long barely able to move, and puked again on my floor from the pain. I drove myself to the hospital emergency room once more at 9:30 a.m. and this set of nurses actually did a very good job at taking care of shit. Thankfully.
I was quickly given an IV for being dehydrated and they gave me all kinds of different shots through the IV that were for pain and so on. I was taken into radiology and I'm not sure what they gave me, some contrast stuff, and it felt like I pissed my pants. I was put through the machine twice before they wheeled me back to my room. I felt so sick this entire time because no matter what they gave me, I was in so much pain and now I'm loaded with random drugs. The pain finally stopped after a little while, and then a nurse came into the room and let me know that I had a 3mm kidney stone in my left ureter. I was relieved to know what was wrong, but it absolutely sucked at the end of the day knowing that things were about to change. My addiction to Coca-Cola ceased at the drop of a hat, and I was told to drink strictly water for the next few days (lots of it) to ensure that I would pee out the stone soon and safely. I chugged lemonade, cranberry juice, and water for the next 6 days and there was no kidney stone coming out. The pain actually still stuck around for only 4 or 5 days after being discharged and drinking lots of healthier liquids and what seemed like gallons upon gallons of water.
At day number 7, a week from the day I was writhing in pain, vomiting, and could barely do anything for myself or my kids or girlfriend, the kidney stone came out... IN 3 PARTS. I had a doctors appointment literally earlier that very same day where they checked my kidneys and checked for the stone, and told me it must've passed without me really knowing it as the acid in the lemonade I had been chugging most likely broke it up to extremely tiny pieces. I agreed that this must've been the case, but it was indeed NOT the case. I went to the bathroom that night and this time around my... uh... phallic member was just buzzing and tingling and when I peered into the toilet that's when I saw 3 little dark pieces of stone sitting in the porcelain bowl. I was so relieved, even though I was in a bit of discomfort from passing them, I was so damn relieved. I immediately hopped out of the bathroom and let my girlfriend know what just happened and how it felt. She was relieved too because this meant the torment of it all was over... finally. I was able to get things done around the house and help out with the kids a lot more.
My kidney stone was the product of drinking nothing but Coca-Cola for days on end without any water, and basically my whole life I barely ever grabbed bottled water for a refreshing beverage. It was always some kind of dark and or super unhealthy soda. When I say I was addicted to soda and Coca-Cola, that is not a joke. I would drink it religiously, and since I work at a busy convenience store, I kept all the free soda in my cup at all times, every hour of the day. And then off work while relaxing at home, I'd have a couple more cans; minimal water and a diet that consisted of barely eating any kind of decent food-just junk all the time.
So, at the end of it all, my advice to all the people (maybe 10 of you that'll read this lol) is if you currently have a kidney stone - DRINK LEMONADE, and LOTS OF WATER. And I mean drink more water than lemonade, like get a 32 oz. cup of water and drink about 4 of those a day. I also say cranberry juice too, just plenty of healthy liquids. Don't get that Minute Maid sugary lemonade bullshit, get the good stuff that is more than half lemon juice, low sodium, minimal sugar - the purest lemonade you can find. It will help break down that kidney stone of yours into tiny pieces and make it so much easier to excrete.
And if you don't have a kidney stone and don't want to experience the trauma of it, stop drinking soda all the time. It's okay to have maybe one a day, or one every other day, but do not abuse it. Like I said above, healthy juices and plenty of water is the way to go to live a decent life. I know most of you are smart, but I was not. I was and am a pretty big dumbass when it came to health. Low sodium based products are the absolute best for you, and too much calcium is a no no. Avoid tea as well, it seems healthy but more than once cup of tea a day is going to put your ass in the same position my (very dumb) ass was in. Stay as hydrated as you possibly can, slow down on the salted foods all the time. Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate.
- Rhett Rhodes 🍋
follow me on twitter, or don't i don't care - just avoid the kidney stones 👍
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